How did I get here?

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Taking in the beauty of the world before me, I write and lay at the beach in beautiful Malibu, California. 

Mesmerized by the movement of the ocean, a subtle cooling current of wellbeing flows through me. My mind is quiet, and a sense of peace pervades it. Gratitude fills my heart as I appreciate the moment just as it is. Truly good vibes.

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Sharp popping colors of the sun and sea where there was once visual snow, depth and life in sounds of the waves & birds where there was once tinnitus, and rich multi-dimensional aromas carried on the wind where there was once no smell at all. Vivid visualizations of the future come to my mind & excite me, and a fire in my belly empowers me to pursue them. I trust my body again. 

 

Yet today I came to write about a darker time, so I tap into my memory & transport myself...

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I was supposed to be in my prime...

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18 years old. Athlete. Cute Girlfriend. Ready to go off to college. People telling me I had potential. Outwardly everything ok, but...

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I was numb. Distant. I felt like I was floating above my body, seeking any distraction to pull me away from a growing pain & exhaustion within me. 

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One day, an intense family event shook me to my core, and my body collapsed.

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Dozens of debilitating symptoms ruined my life.

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All of sudden, so many symptoms & dark emotions manifested one after the other

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• Brain fog so bad I often forgot the names of good friends. I was afraid to drive my car, from how disconnected I felt from reality. 

• Terrible food intolerances which limited me to 4-5 food choices. Pooping once a week. Diabolical-farts. Gut health was NOT ok (let's leave it at that.)

• Skin Issues that made my face look like a red balloon on some days, and as a pale as ghost others. 

• Chronic fatigue that kept me in bed almost all day, despite having so recently been so athletic. I was too exhausted to do even basic tasks around the house, or think about any mildly complex topic.

• Anxiety. Social anxiety. Anxiety-based anxiety. Felt like my nervous system was going constantly short circuiting, like pouring pancake syrup on a computer.

• A disconnect from my own authentic personality (referred to as 'Depersonalization'). 

• A non-stop sense of impending doom, with a side of resulting panic attacks. Was I dying? 

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I became completely obsessed with getting well. Every waking hour, it's all I could think about.

 

It began where most people do: seeing doctors. Gastro, endocrine, neuro, you name it. My blood tests and examinations were all normal, so they all dismissed my concerns, recommended random medications, or said it was "all in your head" (classic.)

 

After hitting a dead end with the conventional and racking up thousands of dollars in medical bills, then began the rollercoaster of alternative health paths.

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Along the way I explored (this is by no means a complete list:)

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• Obsessing with the gut: gut lining healing, gut-brain axis healing, microbiome testing, probiotics, worked then didn't.

• Tried every diet: vegetarian, vegan done correctly, paleo, blood type, keto, starch based, you name it. 

• Tens of thousands of dollars of herbs and nutritional supplements

• Fasting for several days at a time, juice fasting, & one meal a day protocol.

• Consistent meditation practices

• Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture 

• Many naturopaths & functional medicine practitioners

• All sorts of antimicrobials, antifungals, & antiparasitics​

• Chelation therapy (detox done wrong)

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I tried "everything," and nothing worked.

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I had the "This next one is IT, I'm sure of it!" syndrome. Chasing the magic pill, as my dad always told me. The common theme of all these is this cycle of trying something new, feeling better for a short period of time, telling everyone about how amazing this new healing modality is, only to fall right back to where I was or get worse. 

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The worst part of this endless search, besides how it pretty much is like setting your wallet on fire, is the psychological toll it takes: 

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A deep sadness that I had to put my life on pause: Maybe I'd feel ok enough to do things one day, maybe I won't. Drifting from friends, being too sick to have a healthy relationship, and missing countless opportunities because I always felt terrible.

A constant worrying about my health: is this little bite of gluten gonna exasperate my symptoms? Will my head explode if I don't take my 20 supplements today? Will I be non-functional if I get 7 hours of sleep instead of 8?

A profound frustration that I couldn't be my best: ​​No matter how hard I tried to improve myself or perform at a high level in anything, I always felt blocked. Like the 'unfixable' fatigue & fogginess would never let me excel in life. Like I was always moving through a thick sludge.

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I started to think: are things always gonna be this way?

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Will I always dependent on all these supplements/diets/herbs and unable to live a normal life enjoying the many fruits on this world? Can't I just go travel and eat some pizza every now and then without taking 100 supplements? (spoiler alert: yes I eventually could.)

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The Godsent turning point

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After hitting the lowest point of my entire journey, I sat and prayed every day for solution. I had learned so much, yet felt like nothing was working. There was nothing I could do anymore. "God, Universe, Holy Spirit, show me the way..."

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One morning, I forced myself to attend a zoom call with many healers, where fate was waiting for me. I meet a super cool dude with a rare demeanor about him: grounded, witty, & deeply compassionate as though he’s been through 'the fire.' He told me about this "Mineral Balancing" thing.

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I got hopeful (again).

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Here was a system that seemed to be the missing piece. After talking to many people who had been healed by this path, and reading some testimonials, I just thought,  "ok I'm broke, but I got plenty of time and this system is pretty cheap, maybe I should commit to this path and see where it leads me"

 

3 months into the full program I started having energy for the first time in a long time.

 

6 months in I felt stable, symptom-free, and mentally clear. I was out of the woods finally.

 

A year and a half later I was overflowing with energy, filled with ideas & joy, and being mentored to become a practitioner. I then integrated the detox tools I had learned over the years on top of it, and reached new heights.

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Soon I moved across the country and married my now wife, having gained enough energy to pursue my passions like performing live music and competitive sports again, all while finding exponentially greater success in finances than before.